Perhaps you are among those who very naturally fall into a routine, the perfect routine. The routine that helps you stay on top of your game. Well, I definitely do not fall into this category although in my ideal world I wish I did. And this, has never been much of a problem as, for the most part, my external schedule would help keep things on track. But, then came parenthood. The hubby and I most enthusiastically came up with a routine for our first born – little angel 1 and of course our world revolved around this little being. Again for the most part all went ‘as planned’ and we were able to cope with the ad hoc diversions that came our way. Then, came the game changer, our second born – little angel 2. And while we thought most of it would go the same way the second time around, we were soon in over our heads. Combined with growing responsibilities outside of parenting and tired of living in a state of ‘socially accepted’ limbo (the joys and joys of new parenting – more on this later) we went into overdrive to make changes for the better and move on to a new ‘state of living’. At this point life felt like total chaos, with us constantly in fire-fighting mode, with growing personal expectations, our planned routine constantly derailing, and us being left feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and losing sight of what was most important. But ultimately there was no denying that having a routine and one that is easy to follow was the need of the hour.
Having a ‘schedule’ (forgive the change, ‘routine’ sounds and feels mundane…), creates order, helps us and our children mentally prepare for what’s ahead, which somehow becomes easier to accept or with some luck, even ‘exciting’ to look forward to; and it also helps us visually fit all that we need to achieve into our day, well most of it anyway. Most days, that have inevitably been fire-fighting days, have resulted from us giving up on our planned routine even before the day has begun. I have spent a lot of time observing and thinking about how we could overcome this. Running through a daily schedule shouldn’t have to be so hard!
Here are the hiccups that refuse to subside, and also some insights that may get them to stop. This is trial and error so hop on the band wagon. At the very least, following along is going to be entertaining!
Lists. And More Lists.I love lists! Or rather, I love making lists! But somehow every list I make has an invisibility cloak and seems to disappear, never to be found again. At best, these have served to have me note down my schedule, only to be forgotten when it comes to making it a reality. So of course I have to come up with a scheduling system that works. And by works, I mean one that is fun, exciting, interesting, and basically, ‘unforgettable’!
Organic Scheduling.Yes, you read right! If everything else is going organic, why not our schedule? Well, by an ‘organic schedule’ I mean coming up with a schedule that is more ‘natural’ than forced. One that incorporates essential tasks and other elements of our routine that already work and do so without much effort. I have already tried this and apart from one particularly glaring challenge (coming to this in my next point), it works well and really reduces a lot of the stress that otherwise comes with having to try too hard.
That third point – The Clock That Never Stops. Do you have one of those? Well our clock seems to be entering some other realm with every hour just sweeping by. We don’t even need a time machine. We seem to just as easily be swept towards the end of each day without any special contraption. And during the current 2020 lockdown, our usual ‘Indian Standard Time’ has taken on a personality of its own in our home! This phenomenon may perhaps be spontaneously easing us into our often discussed interest in following our circadian rhythm, except perhaps the one in line with the standard time on Mars! But jokes aside, I suspect ‘relating tasks to each other in sequence’ would help with better time-keeping than having to glance at the clock several times and have my heart rate hasten with every ‘tick and ‘tock’ as my toddlers’ decide its the best time to throw a tantrum. I hope to try this out! The sequencing of tasks, not having a coronary, I mean.
Super Pumped – Rev – Slow Down – Bump – Stall – Super Deflated. Repeat. Do you ever start your day like this? Well I do, almost every day and it gets really tiring. It’s a very difficult cycle to break! I wake up thinking about the tasks ahead, but before I know it, I am already scrambling to keep up with time just leaping ahead amidst tiny tot resistance, having to re-strategise priorities at the drop of a hat (or in this case another toddler tantrum), and trying to keep the balance of an already overwhelmed ‘mom’ aka ‘me’ from tipping over. To keep from feeling super deflated at the end of each day, I have had to work on a change in perspective on ‘my’ part. I find that tapping into the moments of life that make me happy is key, and that these said moments haven’t skipped town. I’ve just been unable to recognise them while they have been there the whole time. I had to get myself into the ’right frame of mind’ before I could think of successfully tackling our ‘perfect’ schedule (will save more about this for another post).
Let’s Move It, Move It. Physically, physically, physically fit. Well that needs to be my new mantra. I for one was someone who never really exercised deliberately, nor found the need to. And that was perhaps because I was younger and had an active metabolism. Also, I always moved about on foot, or used the public bus transport whether it was for marketing, running errands or visiting friends. But post two babies, becoming a stay-at home mom, taking up driving as a necessity about the same time, and crossing the big ‘three -o’, now have me gradually sinking into lethargy if I sink into my sofa for more than 30 minutes at a time through the day. So making a conscious effort to stay physically fit is a major priority and a major element of any success I am to have with my schedule.
Home design can ‘spark joy’ in your Routine. Let’s allow It. Home is where the best version of oneself is nurtured and encouraged. Or at least it should be! Don’t you agree? My vision of my family home has always been aimed at creating a space with warmth and calm. A dwelling where we can dissolve our worries and create healing moments and memories through the loving interactions we share with our family. This means creating a habitat which reflects our personalities, builds our characters, and ties us together to create a family unit that thrives. This is of course a dream in progress, and I suppose it will always be so. There is always so much to adapt to, to change for, to evolve into; and our home and us must do it together. So, even in the littlest of ways, the hubby and I often have discussions over what parts of our home need more love. We have certainly taken into account aspects that spark joy in our routine whether its the kitchen designed to be inviting to cook in; or our curtains (specific to their fabric texture, length and opacity) to permit just the right amount of morning light in to help us start our day. We continue to adapt our home to enable a healthier lifestyle and it only gets more exciting as we evolve!
All of what I mention here requires more than words and most definitely more than one go. It’s time to lay this foundation and find a way to make ‘routines’ a whole lot of fun!
If you have gone through similar struggles with finding that perfect routine to help with your chaos and wish to share it with us, please do leave us a comment in the section below! There is much we can learn from each other.